why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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