i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
