I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
