I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nicole vs. Life
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
