How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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