His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
