Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
