Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
