i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
