um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she peed on how many people?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
