Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
