new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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