Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize