oh god the rape fog is back!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
