Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
high people should be assigned attendants
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
FUCK WHALES
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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