i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
