I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
