You can't special order awesome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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