If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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