Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
