You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
