I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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