so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
