Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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