Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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