If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
