Joe is yelling at the trees again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
