Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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