When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
