So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
