i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
