I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
