it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
