sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
time to smoke my breakfast
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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