I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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