she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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