Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
