So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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