But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
