Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
