Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
