Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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