The maid of honor just puked.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
