I want to stick my p in your. b.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
