I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
