he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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