she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
