I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
