im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
