He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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