you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
