If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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