I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize