I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's rum buckets o'clock
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
