whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
