i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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