i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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