Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
